A man walks into a restaurant where a masquerade party is held, shivering in his tattered cloak, his sunken eyes darting around in desperation for any sign of food or drink.
"Excuse me," he says to the waiter, "I would like to order everything please."
The waiter looks at the man with a look of concern, and says "Sir, are you sure you want to order everything? There are hundreds of items on the menu."
The waiter watches as the man clutches at his throat, gasping and panting, as if he hasn't eaten or drank anything in days.
"Help me," the man begs, his voice hoarse and strained. "I'm starving here, I can't even swallow my own saliva."
"As you wish, sir," says the waiter as he walks away.
A few minutes later, Several waiters return with hundreds of plates of food of all shapes and sizes. The food covers every surface in the restaurant and spills out onto the floor. As the waitstaff and the masked patrons look on in shock, the man slowly starts to eat, devouring every ounce of food until there is nothing left.
Then the man tears off his cloak and it is revealed that it was actually two arachnids in a cloak. The patrons start panicking.
"Good thing this one has a high absurdity level," says the smaller arachnid as she jumps down from the bigger one.
"Where's the frog, by the way?" asks the bigger arachnid, crushing someone's neck in it's pincers.
Patrons are fighting for their lives. Some throwing items at the arachnids, some at each other. Most are trying to get through the doors, all of which were blocked with web from the outside ahead of time. All, except the entrance door from which arachnids came through, disguised as a cloaked man. The bigger arachnid stood near this door now, killing anyone who tried to leave.
"Frog paradoxed itself out of itself," the smaller arachnid said, covering the only available exit with web. "But that's the least of our worries."
The bigger arachnid scuttled towards the crowd of panicking patrons, rattling it's venomous tail.
"Be right back," the smaller arachnid said, before slipping through the crack on a wall.
The bigger arachnid went on a violent rampage, brutally executing everyone in sight, one by one. When all patrons were dead, it took a break and waited for the smaller arachnid to come back. There were broken plates, smashed food and corpses everywhere.
"They locked themselves in the kitchen," the smaller arachnid said, finally reemerging. "The staff, I mean. Waiters have submachine guns, but chef says that noone should even touch the door."
"Are we just going to leave them there?" asled the bigger arachnid.
"Yes, we will," replied the smaller arachnid and started sealing the kitchen door shut.
"So," the bigger arachnid chittered casually as it started collecting corpses into piles, "will you tell me about the big picture now?"
The smaller arachnid took her time to reply, focused on sealing the door first and foremost: "And... Done. Alright, ask away."
"How long will we be staying here?" the bigger arachnid threw another body on top of the pile.
With the door sealed, the smaller arachnid went on filling all the cracks and holes in the walls next. "Hate to say it," she sighed, "but all I can say is 'depends'. I have a feeling you won't like the other answers either."
"Okay," the bigger arachnid paused, thinking about it's next question. "Do you even know what are we dealing with?"
"I had like three days to look into this, cut me some slack," the smaller arachnid spoke with a little bit of laughter coming through. "Basically, yes and no."
"Did the frog bite you on its way out?" The bigger arachnid groaned with annoyance as it snapped the body it was carrying in half. "Have any good reason you're not giving me straightfoward answers?"
"Yeah I have some actually," the smaller arachnid said jocosely. "Hang on for a second."
As the smaller arachnid fills the last hole in the wall, it's impossible to look inside and see what's happening in the restaurant.
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