"Hey there, bro. I'm just doing some laundry. How's your day going?"
"Hello, hello. I'm reading some reports as usual. You won't believe the first one I read: an intrusion from another dimension. That's some next-level conspiracy theory."
"Haha, that does sound bizarre. What else have you got?"
"Well, there's this one that has something called 'Operation Distract'."
"Ha. Perfect name for a plan that distracts from the actual crash."
"Let's see. There's a report about a frog's life story. This is the stuff they make kids' books about, not universe simulations."
"A frog's life story? That's pretty funny."
"Yes, it is. Hey, how's your pet rock by the way?"
"Sleeping on the windowsill. She's very sleepy lately."
"Aw. Give her a scratch from me."
"Will do, sir!"
"Oh, finally. I think I found a report that makes some sense. Although, good luck to them figuring out what's going on with that mysterious conversation."
"Sounds intriguing."
"You don't say. Wait, what?"
"What? What's wrong?"
"This next one is just a joke."
"Is it really that bad?"
"No, no, it's literally a joke."
"Oh. Well, I guess if you can't solve the problem, that's one way to deal with it."
"Mhm. And the next one reads like someone tried to rewrite a poem using predictive text."
"Haha, sounds like a mess."
"Sure is like that sometimes."
"Any other? You've hooked me by now, dude."
"Reading, reading. Don't get your hopes up, this one is the last one."
"Aw, man."
(Pause)
"Wow. Right. Let's just list random creature abilities and call it a day. Great job."
"Alright. Report four makes the most sense. But I liked that fifth one, because who doesn't love a good pun in the middle of a universe restoration crisis?"
"True! Anyway, I should get back to my laundry. Talk to you later."